EdHammer 3:03 Fri Dec 8
Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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I've been asked to host our company Christmas party this weekend, as the cost of hiring a real host was too much.
The venue and the event has gone over budget.
There will be 100 people coming to the event and I have no script or opening lines/gags!
Any good jokes, opening lines or ideas would be much appreciated.
Cheers people.
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Hammer and Pickle
1:16 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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You are not witty Johnson.
Why bother with the internet at all?
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Johnson
1:14 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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I hope your client isn’t covering all your drinks Herr Thickle, you’ll bankrupt them. They’re only applying for UK dole via your services as it is.
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Hammer and Pickle
1:12 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Christ.
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Nurse Ratched
1:11 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Better slosh on the BLUE STRATOS, Neil.
Or DENIM ("For the man who doesn't have to try...TOO hard")
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neilalex
1:09 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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There are several dollies in the typing pool. Hors d'ouevres.
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Hammer and Pickle
1:07 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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You seem to be a bit of a Christmas party pro, Ratched.
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Nurse Ratched
1:05 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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I can see Neil getting excited over cheese-and-pineapple on cocktail sticks. Slapping the arse of the dolly in the typing pool. Swearing blind he'll resist the Cinzano Bianco, no matter how desperate be gets, but alas...
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neilalex
12:30 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Free drink and food all night. It has an effect on working class people like catnip. I know because it still does it for me, albeit I can afford to pay for my own.
As for the hosting bit, I wouldn't worry. No-one will be in the slightest interested in what you have to say they will be gagging for free food and DRAANK. Thank them all for their professionalism/contribution/efforts and that's it.
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Hammer and Pickle
12:22 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Client has invited me to one.
Would be awkward not to press photocopier button.
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Nurse Ratched
12:21 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Do people get ORDERED by their bosses to attend these things? If not I fail to understand why anybody would.
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Mike Oxsaw
12:12 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Wank into the punch bowl.
For added festive drama, chuckle "Ho! Ho! Ho!" and do so while guests are serving themselves from it.
TML.
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Nurse Ratched
12:04 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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That's not likely to be to my advantage.
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gph
12:02 Sat Dec 9
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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NR isn't Oscar Wilde - doesn't give a shit whether people are talking about her or not.
PS They are
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Nurse Ratched
11:59 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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We've already had ours.
I didn't go.
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aldgate
9:25 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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smile a lot while welcoming everyone - thank everyone in the audience for being great all year and start clapping - they'll soon follow and you can walk off in a warm glow and enjoy yourself
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Mike Oxsaw
7:20 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Do your opening speech in Arabic, wearing a full-on dish-dash & back-pack combo.
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Side of Ham
5:19 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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worm 3:10 Fri Dec 8
Do you really think you are wriggle out of it that easily?
Billy Blagg
Sounds like you organised an orgy not a party
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Ilford Hammer
5:06 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said 'I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.'
Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.
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Billy Blagg
4:58 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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I got a divorce, lost a house and got a second marriage from the last Christmas party I organised. So NO I have no advice to give.
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Swiss.
4:15 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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Don't do anything sitting down or you'll end up sitting next and opposite to a bore. So standing up and finger food.
Some tribute siger like Any Winhouse and some punch which tastes like soft fruit juice but will have everyone legless. Look up Miliary Punch
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goose
3:57 Fri Dec 8
Re: Hosting a Company Christmas Party....need help
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i laughed.
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